Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
