Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
