At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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