i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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