he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
