Pants 0. Shit 1.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
