OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
