so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your cock deserves a montage
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
