I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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