guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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