I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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