You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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