he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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