This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
