I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
