hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
