At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
