If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Send help, water and tortillas.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
