Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Fuck appropriateness.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thank you for not boning my boss.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
