You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
