Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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