I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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