Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
