I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
