someone get that fucking seahorse.
His hands were made for my vagina.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
