I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
