Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
