Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
