i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
