i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Terrible idea I love it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
