i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
