rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
