Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
A bitchslap is in order.
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