Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
