We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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