Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
