I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
