the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
