doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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