well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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