Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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