I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
