Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
