For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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