It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
