what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
