ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
