sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
