So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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