I'm really into asian looking animals
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
